Prov. 19:18
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. Discipline, in today's society is a dirty word. I brings up thoughts of child-beating, and rigid, loveless strictness. In short, discipline has gotten a bad name. We all discipline ourselves in a myriad of ways... we go to work on time, we do the dishes, we wash clothes, we curtail our recreational driving to save on fuel expense, we live on a budget. Discipline is just TRAINING.
Our children need training, as we all do. Children need to learn self-control. Not Mom-control (though parents who constantly re-direct toddlers instead of teaching self-control seem very controlled by their offspring), not situation control - none of us have situation control, though we try to, but SELF control. "In that there is hope." Hope that the young person will someday be able to rule their own desires. It begins as soon as a child begins to walk... "Don't go in the street." "Stay on the sidewalk." "Come here." These are life-saving commands, but only if they can be obeyed. (Obey - another word verboten in our culture)
Without teaching self-discipline, parents are a "willing party to" their children's death. Ouch! That cuts deep! But it is so true... young movie/rock stars who are manager-controlled, or Disney-controlled, at 18, suddenly have no external control. If they have not been taught self-control, they have no holds barred and frequently crash and burn at a very young age... we all know of child stars who are dead or dying of addictions.
We must teach our children to deny themselves. This exercise works for toddler. Place a nick-knack on the coffee table and tell the child "No, don't touch". (For parents who object on the grounds of entrapment, I refer you to Genesis, Chapter 2, where God himself puts a tree in the middle of the garden where Adam and Eve can see it, and touch it, but tells them NOT to eat of it.) Then just wait and watch. If the child touches it, give a little slap to the offending hand. It usually doesn't even need to be painful... just so the child knows it is a rebuff. Repeat the "No!, Don't touch!" command. If the child touches it again, repeat the hand-slap, but not any harder than before. If the child goes a whole minute without touching the object, praise them and give a reward! Then, put the object away for training later. If the child continues to touch, reward after a smaller amount of time, but always before the disobedience. If the child continues to disobey, put the object away for next time. Never give a reward unless the child is successful. Repeat often, and with different objects. The "come here" command is one that also needs to be trained, and could save their lives. Conversely, if it is not taught effectively, could kill them.
So, discipline your children, for in that there is hope. Do not be a willing party to their deaths
Our children need training, as we all do. Children need to learn self-control. Not Mom-control (though parents who constantly re-direct toddlers instead of teaching self-control seem very controlled by their offspring), not situation control - none of us have situation control, though we try to, but SELF control. "In that there is hope." Hope that the young person will someday be able to rule their own desires. It begins as soon as a child begins to walk... "Don't go in the street." "Stay on the sidewalk." "Come here." These are life-saving commands, but only if they can be obeyed. (Obey - another word verboten in our culture)
Without teaching self-discipline, parents are a "willing party to" their children's death. Ouch! That cuts deep! But it is so true... young movie/rock stars who are manager-controlled, or Disney-controlled, at 18, suddenly have no external control. If they have not been taught self-control, they have no holds barred and frequently crash and burn at a very young age... we all know of child stars who are dead or dying of addictions.
We must teach our children to deny themselves. This exercise works for toddler. Place a nick-knack on the coffee table and tell the child "No, don't touch". (For parents who object on the grounds of entrapment, I refer you to Genesis, Chapter 2, where God himself puts a tree in the middle of the garden where Adam and Eve can see it, and touch it, but tells them NOT to eat of it.) Then just wait and watch. If the child touches it, give a little slap to the offending hand. It usually doesn't even need to be painful... just so the child knows it is a rebuff. Repeat the "No!, Don't touch!" command. If the child touches it again, repeat the hand-slap, but not any harder than before. If the child goes a whole minute without touching the object, praise them and give a reward! Then, put the object away for training later. If the child continues to touch, reward after a smaller amount of time, but always before the disobedience. If the child continues to disobey, put the object away for next time. Never give a reward unless the child is successful. Repeat often, and with different objects. The "come here" command is one that also needs to be trained, and could save their lives. Conversely, if it is not taught effectively, could kill them.
So, discipline your children, for in that there is hope. Do not be a willing party to their deaths
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